I am my Motivation

ROLAND PIAN0 C0MPETITI0N

Solo Pian0 Sl0t: 3.40pm

Concerto Slot : 5.40pm

and n0w i shall say that i've regretted applying f0r 2 s0ngs where i can g0 f0r 1..
since there's 0nly 2 pers0n playing 2 s0ngs f0r that c0mpetiti0n..

So juz n0w i wen't KA... had my pian0 less0n and realized that...
my maj0r weakness: mem0rizing..
ppl say i play darn well and geng but in my heart 'yea tq but i suck in my mem0rizing w0rk'
thank go0dness i'm n0t 0f interest in Perf0rming Studies c0z if s0 i'll s0 g0 f0r brain surgery..

it's pr0ven when a few h0urs back i played my Rhaps0dy in Blue (c0ncert0) and my teacher was rec0rding it d0wn.. when suddenly halfway 0f the s0ng i F0RG0TTEN the n0tes!!!!! my go0dness~~!!!
at that m0mnt i felt like breaking d0wn and cry till my tears are dry..
i can't believe dat juz happened to me..
and den all the negative t0ughts juz came st0rming int0 my mind,
saying dat 'wad if dis happens during the comp..'
'wad will the judges say?'
'i'm definitely g0nna embarress myself..'
'i s0 d0 n0t have h0pe..'

And h0w b0ut my solo piece 'Mazeppa'..
my go0dness.. i managed t0 play all..
but all the n0tes seem t0 be wr0ng.. n0thing seemed t0 be right...
wad de hell m i banging 0n the pian0??? @@
s0rry Liszt plz dun haunt me in my dreams.. hahahx~~
same pr0blem 'mem0rizing difficulty'

i've g0t a feeling when i get nerv0us my head will g0 blank.. ~~
and wif that i will juz say bye bye to the judges and walk 0ut 0f the ro0m.. @@

and n0 thanks to mummy..
instead 0f enc0uriging she disc0uraged me till the max dat i can't take it anym0re..
but yet i still listen and get my self imm0ralized.. @@
thnks s0 much f0r ur great help.. >sarcastically<
haiyz... n01's a help 2 me (as usual) but n01 seems t0 think h0w much i've contributed? n0ne appreciated...



till den, GRAYCY says 'she's her 0wn m0tivati0n f0r n0w.. to0dles'